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Something I don’t think grown-ass people should need a lesson in, but apparently they do. Before I get started, I want to say, that I am a very straightforward person, who has no time or interest in the “games” or “rules” of dating.I have no issue with messaging first, even on non-Bumble apps, and I don’t even mind leading the conversation to an extent.I never realized how much “like attracts like” in that I am often surrounded by people who are similarly skilled at conversing.Whether through choice of school programs and extracurricular activities in college (I was a public relations major and I was in a sorority, both of which required a certain level of communications skills), or fields of work post-graduation (I work in nonprofits which tend to not only attract a wide variety of employees, but also a very diverse clientele), I’ve mostly always been around people who are pretty decent at holding a conversation. Trying to talk to men on dating apps is so horrifically painful.But, I date men, so my experience is only with men; however, I think a lot of what I am saying can be applied to any gender.A few month ago I wrote a “how to ask a woman out from a dating app” guide for men, but lately I have realized that people need even more basic instructions than that.I didn’t know it was possible for people to be so horrendous at conversation.
Even if you’re enjoying the online messages, don’t push your luck.Know when to take your virtual relationship offline before it fizzles out.After all, dating is about meeting up face-to-face, hearing their voice, drinking in their smell and feeling their touch.It’s also a good indicator for knowing if you have found a worthwhile match or not. Well, if after asking them a mountain of questions, they still haven’t asked you the basics, you can be pretty darn sure they are self absorbed, and not the least bit interested in finding out what you’re all about. Keep it fun, it’s not a job interview – make your question a little quirky and different.This way you stand out from the rest of the “fishies” and get a better reaction – and please, don’t ask something they’ve already answered on their profile.
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In my experience, it’s best to meet up earlier rather than later – like before you know .