Not interested in dating anyone
Fair point, and exactly why I had an existential crisis when I met Manhattanite, who told me upfront that he didn't want a relationship, but with whom it was never solely physical. However, last night, another male friend explained his inability to enter into relationships to me differently (I'm in the midst of a dating experiment and podcast, so I've had a lot of chats with smart ladies and men about dating as of late).
He told me that he doesn't want a relationship because he knows that he won't be able to be a good partner right now. Fledgling relationships that might never even hatch are still very confusing. If someone you are seeing tells you they "don't want a relationship" Golden recommends you say: “I misread you. Thanks for letting me know so I don’t waste any more of my time.” Much more polite than "boy, bye." I wish I had said this to Manhattanite years ago.
We can become aware of the myriad of ways we influence the reactions we get from others, even the negative reactions.
So, the question for the single person looking for love is: what are the internal challenges I need to face?
"Most of the time, if something great is brewing, people will find the time and make it work," explains Golden.
"However, sometimes, it’s just not possible."If a person is telling you that they don't want a relationship, Golden says that they're probably just interested in hooking up or ending whatever is going on.
1) Defenses Most people have been hurt in interpersonal relationships.
With time and painful experiences, we all risk building up varying degrees of bitterness and becoming defended.
(Hence me hanging on to Manhattanite, whom I know things would never work out with, as a nice text distraction.) Oftentimes, timing is a BS excuse.
They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life.
Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives.
He also had some family and mental health matters to sort out.
Manhattanite said he was 88% clear on the fact that he really liked my friend, but that he didn't want a relationship. Staying in touch seemed like an OK idea at the time.