Dating in the dark results

One was a guy who was interested in talking to me, and the other was acting as his wingman.The wingman walked up to me as his friend stood beside him and screamed over the music, “You’re perfect!I wish I could say that I’m surprised and appalled by the ignorance that white men tend to show when they approach me, but I’ve come to expect it.While white men are not the only group to hold racial biases and stereotypes against black women, they tend to be the least informed on the racialized and gendered issues that black women endure.Microaggressions are comments or actions that unintentionally alienate or demean a marginalized person or group.These include, but are not limited to, saying things such as “You’re [insert positive adjective] for a black girl! ”These may seem harmless to some, but they’re actually symptoms of deeper problems rooted in systematic oppressions that black women face daily.So, in order to avoid some head and heartaches down the road for both parties, I’d like to offer white men some suggestions on how to best approach us.

Try to think of a black woman as an individual, and not as the chosen speaker for a whole diverse group.We ended up hitting it off, but it wasn’t until our first date that I realized I had underestimated the wingman’s abilities.The guy did, in fact, have some kind of black girl fetish.So, as you’re getting to know this woman, be sure to keep the following in mind: Race is going to come up in any interracial coupling, but These are perfect examples of microaggressions.When you compliment a black woman in this way, you are implying that we are exceptions to the rule — the rule being that that black women are not attractive, intelligent, or posses any other positive attributes.

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