Dating a widower
Mothering sunday is also always tricky due to the adult children being sad. My partner initially said he did not want commitment, but over the years has come to want more and we have been living together happily for 7 years. He occasionally goes a little quiet and reflective on me - I can tell through his communication... This happened a couple of months ago (wedding anniversary) but her birthday and anniversary of their meeting is a different time of year.
18 months is very short, but don't give up, try and stay friends and things may redevelop. However he did make it clear from the start that he never would marry again and still feels the same way. Last weekend was hard for him due to a couple of arrangements he had to deal with which were connected to his DW. I emailed him yesterday to gently tell him how I wanted to be there for him...... My Dad remarried five years after my Mum died to somebody much younger.
I am a bit sad about that but our life together is so happy that I have come to terms with it. We had not planned to see each other as he had these things going on, so I had set myself up for him to be a little melancholy and I gave him space. He was with my Mum for 40 years, she had cancer and died a year after diagnosis.
Illness changes the dynamics of your relationship almost to parent/child status. I think in a situation where somebody has lived with a sick partner for a long time a lot of their grieving is done even before death.
I really hope this works out for you, you sound lovely! All of these things may be contributing to him feeling guilty maybe about finding happiness with someone else.
As a side note, my H left me last October for somebody who had been widowed for 6 months and moved in with her after 3 weeks..doomed I would have thought :-/ Yes to the understanding re talking about his late wife and also now we live together we have photos from their family life together in the house as well as my family photos some of which include my children's dad. My partner had been married for over 20 years and for ten of those his wife was ill.
We had some really lovely romantic dates, DTD, and all the while he has been romantic, caring and attentive.
We've been away on a mini break and have booked a holiday for later on this year (both at his suggestion). I think the important things (in addition to the usual criteria!
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My bf talks about the moment he realised the grief had left him.