Christian dating sexuality
Is consent culture the best that we have in its place?
The effects of purity culture are well documented, in books like Linda Kay Klein’s “Pure”and in #exvangelical online communities.
As Christianity teaches that marriage is not simply a legal bind but a spiritual covenant, so married sex is a bodily expression that two people will be each other, through all seasons.
As I continue to date with hopes of meeting a partner, I yearn for guidance on how to integrate faith and sexuality in ways that honor more than my own desires in a given moment.
I am 34, unmarried and a committed Christian, and have, over time, not held to the purity standards I inherited from my faith community.
One would think that Pastor Bolz-Weber’s shame-free ethic would be a tall glass of water for a grace-parched soul. For amid the horrible teachings about women’s bodies and God’s anger over an exposed bra strap, the proponents of purity — or the best of them at least — were trying to offer us the gift of sex within marriage.
At each turn, someone would spit in the cup, until the last person had a cup full of spit. He admitted that much of what he taught was not actually scriptural. Nadia Bolz-Weber, a Lutheran pastor in Denver, has proposed a “sexual reformation” in light of purity culture’s traumatic effects.
Somehow God and I got our wires crossed, because the husband hasn’t arrived.(I never once heard about consent in youth group.) But two people can consent to something that’s nonetheless damaging or selfish.Consent crucially protects against sexual assault and other forms of coercion.Twenty years later, I no longer subscribe to purity culture, largely because it never had anything to say to Christians past the age of 23.Yet lately, I also find myself mourning the loss of the coherent sexual ethic that purity culture tried to offer.
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I can get that from Dan Savage, but I also want to know what Jesus thinks.