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Skip it.: Focus on posting an ad instead of replying to them, and know that there's a good chance it'll get flagged within 24 hours. There are a great number of folks on CL who are bitter, angry and/or frustrated with their lack of hooking up, and they'll automatically assume anyone who seems 'normal' is a prostitute.

Share yourself genuinely, be clear and specific about who you are and what you're after, and make sure you use that flag button at the bottom of each message as often as it's needed.

It's a tricky juggling act, and for most folks I'd recommend hitting the club or bar before trying anything else.

For those convinced that they'll find the perfect hookup online however, here's where I'd suggest starting.

Lavalife's Intimate Encounters section has been a longtime favorite of mine.

It offers a high degree of privacy if you're also seeking a romantic relationship, and you can target your profile precisely to what you're after.

Then, hit the groups in your geographical region that cater to singles, and post a note with what you're seeking.: You'll get bombarded here just for creating a profile, so make sure to keep your needs and desires up front for all to see.

Make it clear who you will, and refuse, to respond to - most folks on Fet take "no" graciously - although some may get off on it.

I've spent many hours on these kinds of sites, talking to members, using the features, and generally trying to see if the sites offer what they say they do, while still trying to keep my (and your) privacy intact.

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  1. Please DO NOT continue if you are not at least 18 years old or the age you're considered of majority in every jurisdiction you intend to watch the Sexually Explicit Material that makes the subject of this website.

  2. Founded by an ex–Tinder employee, who experienced sexual harassment at her old job and sued the company, the app puts the power where it belongs: In the woman's hands. For LGBT matches, either person can reach out before the connection is gone. Mesh is another one you may not be familiar with, but even Vogue recommends it, which is reason enough to be intrigued.